大象的眼泪

Tony promised a surprise to me if I was able to apply for 20 new jobs within two days. While I failed to hit the goal at the end of the day, with the submission of only 15 new jobs, my sweet Mr. Hairball decided to deliver the surprise as he was convinced that I have been making a real effort in order to accomplish that difficult task.The prize came out to be a beautiful movie called "Water for Elephants" at Scotiabank Theater, starred by Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon and Christoph Waltz. It was not among the movies that could give you an easy and amusing time on a Sunday night, but belonged to the category of movies that would truly help you think and feel. The story was about a veterinary student, Jacob, abandoned his studies after his parents were killed and joined a traveling circus as their vet. There he met the girl of his dream, Marlena, who was also the wife of his boss August. They fell in love while taking care of the new star attraction of the circus: a smart baby elephant. With overwhelming love for each other and inconceivable courage toward better future, they were able to defeat the brutality of August and the cruelty of the times.I think the movie has chosen a very good perspective to tell the story, for the reason that a circus is always a place full of ironies. It supposed to be a place that brings out the most amounts of true joys, but it was actually with tremendous hardship and tragedies underneath. It looks like a place full of intra-species love and communication, but it was actually dominated by wildness and manipulations. After all, a circus show was just another lucrative delusion of joys, a typical bloody business as many of the others in the historical period of Mid-20-century America. While Jacob, on the other hand, who served as a representative of the scarcely existed humanities during that era, has made every effort to struggle for true love and true cares. The reward for him was a girl of his dream and an immortal life story to be shared with his deeply touched audience.I was very happy to find Tony loved the movie all the same, although I am pretty sure that he could have some unshared feelings about it from a different angle due to his previous experiences. For that, I would like to respect and protect. “What if there was a happy ending for our past tragedies?” This is always a sentimental and magical question to think about. The singularity of the chance to live and the unrepeatableness of time have left us with a limited extent of choices as well as a great legacy of many unfinished yet unable-to-be-finished stories. In my eyes, it never harms to let the stories and pities finished with the help of movies and imagine for the moment about other possibilities of our own lives.And I have my unleashed thoughts too. “Where were you when I was seventeen?”When Marlena asked Jacob, helplessly yet hopefully, at that dancing party, I could clearly remember similar words coming out of my own mouth in the far-away past. The answer to that question was nothing about where were you exactly when I was seventeen; it was everything about what I am going to do with my already changed demand and feelings for life now. However, a big problem in the real world about that is: the true courage in striving for better future could be looking very similar to the ungrateful boldness to screw up a pretty good life. People need wisdom to tell the difference between the two, otherwise there could be a costly price to pay for simply being romantic. For example, in the movie I totally understood Jacob’s affections for Marlena and I completely caught Marlena’s internal unsatisfaction in her marriage with August, yet I pretty doubt about how would Marlena immediately feel after August’s death. August was her husband. He was the right person for her to meet when she was seventeen. He was a super evil for everyone else in the world except for her. As an audience, I feel delighted for Marlena and Jacob’s living happily ever after. But did August deserve such an applauded betrayal and demise as that?Love is truly beautiful, but love is also selfish. There is hardly right-or-wrong answer in any love story. It is touchy as long as it is real. - Once again ironically, these words came from someone who was somehow hurt by the love story that I am enjoying right now. I am always trying to feel, what exactly did Jacob see in that 1939 picture of the Winnie Brothers’ Circus Show at the very beginning of the movie? Cherished memory of his passed wife, grateful appreciation toward his own life, mixed feelings for his long-dead friend and enemy August? Despite all the complexity and ambiguity in his feelings, interestingly, that feeling reaches the bottom of our hearts and became something that we are all yearning for at the end of the day. When Tony and I, hand-in-hand, came off as the last two persons who walked out of the cinema that night, I could not help thinking about one simple question: if there is ever any audience for our own life, would they enjoy the show as much as we just did?JessicaMay 16 2011